is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
