We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
