lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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