Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
