apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You made out with two different species that night
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize