Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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