You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
