don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
