yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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