; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
