party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
