It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My penis needs a shock collar
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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