Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
