somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
