The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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