Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
