I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Bring me that man meat
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize