Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
