So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
