living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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