He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
