plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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