The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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