Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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