What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
