don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
