It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
