She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
