I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
