my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
