I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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