And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Randomize
