He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
