im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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