what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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