Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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