also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
