From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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