my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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