Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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