The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
