I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's official drugs can't kill me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
