you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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