dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm experimenting with sincerity
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
