try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
