"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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