its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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