does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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