Ketchup is God's man juice
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
