Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
