Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
