I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
