I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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