I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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