he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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