you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
