She said her name was "party"
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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