Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
