He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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