love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
