Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
