It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
