Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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