my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
