dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
