Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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