the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
