Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
