So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
