why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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