yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My dick has a subreddit
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
