Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
